Jars of Marbles...Before I Lose Mine!

We are big fans of "Love and Logic" in our home. Sometimes we need extra help.

Right now I need help with:
(1) Minding the 1st time asked.
(2) Not talking back /arguing when asked to do something.
(3) No means no. Quit asking 25 times for something.

PLEASE leave a comment or email me ANY and ALL suggestions you have.


To use "Love and Logic" terms, all of the back and forth with Jasper is draining my energy.

I want Jasper to see how much of my energy is "going down the drain" due to his bad choices and his constant attempts to negotiate.  

I realize that Jasper is barely 4 years old, but somehow I want him to visualize how much of my energy he's taking away.  I've heard of people using a jar of marbles as a reward system. We are testing out a hybrid model of this.  

 This morning and decorated our marble jars.  When Jasper makes good choices and minds the first time, he puts a marble in the happy face jar.  He added stickers of the Las Vegas Temple to the happy jar which I thought was sweet.  He and I go there once a month and he loves it.


When he makes a good choice he LOVES to pick the marbles out to place in the jar, and always comments on what color marble he chooses and how beautiful it is.

When Jasper makes a choice that drains my energy, I put a marble in the frowny face jar. 

Jasper's currently working to earn a trip to the park.  When he wants to do things that I don't have time for, I show him the contents of the jars and remind him how much of my energy has been drained.

Since we are upstairs and downstairs all day we have a set of jars upstairs and a set of jars downstairs.  The jars are food storage containers from Wal-Mart.

We are on day 1 of this little plan, so we'll see how it goes.  The worst part of this whole dilemma is knowing that I'm in this pickle to start with because of my not-so-great parenting skills.  I'm trying to do my best, but I obviously need to do better.


Below are ideas people have shared with me so far: (Thank you)

Lisa Nielsen:

Job grounding. That means grounded from everything until they finish. Tell them your job grounded for talking back, and then don’t say anything else. Help them get started on their job. It works great with my kids!  Lisa Nielsen My house stays lots cleaner and I don’t have to do it!

Reina Gamett:

After 14 years of parenting...some days are just better than others :)

Elene Janda:

Don't negotiate. When they start arguing, stop talking or they have control. It is a jungle out there, it is them against us;). Biggest one is say what you mean and mean what you say, no negotiating!!!!!

Carrie Owen Kirk:

Give consequences without warning. You lay down the rules and then follow through. No second chances. For example, if I always got a warning rather than getting a speeding ticket I would speed and maybe slow down if I got a warning.

Lauren Anderson:

Can't help you much with the first one. Just accept that even obedient and well-behaved kids don't always mind the first time. The other two are easy though. Never re-discuss what you've asked them to do unless they just don't understand it. Clarify if necessary, but if you know they got it, don't discuss it again. If they continue to try to negotiate, quietly (with no anger or commentary) just follow through with the consequence (time out, take away toy, etc.). Every time you respond to their wheedling, you're training them to keep pestering you. Same when you say no. If they keep bringing it up and saying please, Please, PLEASE, practice the art of IGNORING. It's one of the most useful tools you will ever develop if you are willing to discipline yourself to not respond. Just ignore. Talk about something else, go to another room and do something else, change the subject, but DO NOT RESPOND to wheedling and pleading because you are simply training your children to wheedle and plead. Feign deafness, or find something else to divert your attention but whatever you do, ignore the repeated pleas. Good luck. Ignoring can be very hard, but it works.

Joanne Manning:

Remember that they are not robots, they are children and will never be perfect at minding. :)

Nichole Hjorth:

I talk and make sure they understand, but I don't respond to the incessant whining or repeated questions after an answer is already given. I started that from the time they were very little before they could even talk and were throwing fits on the floor. I never wanted to teach them that that is the way to get my attention. They have learned real early....that's not the way to get what you want.

Tammy Lamm:

I heard Linda and Richard Eyre speak at Education Week. They have many years experience, many books, and many great ideas that have been helping my family the past few weeks!

Triple Tier Brownies

If you came to Nancy's baby shower you are probably still craving the brownies Summer Christiansen made.

Everyone recognized them as  "Lindsay's delicious brownies."  Man, they are good!  I'm not a huge sweets fan, but these we irresistible.  I was sitting by Lindsay at dinner and people kept coming over to inquire about the brownies.

Without further ado, the recipe.  ENJOY!

Triple Tier Brownies from Lindsay Cropper

Ingredients
    1 package fudge brownie mix (13-inch x 9-inch pan size)
    1 package (11-1/2 ounces) milk chocolate chips
    1 cup peanut butter
    3 cups Rice Crispies cereal
    1 can (16 ounces) cream cheese frosting

Directions
Prepare and bake brownie mix according to package directions, using a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking pan. Cool on a wire rack.

In a large saucepan, combine chocolate chips and peanut butter. Cook over low heat for 4-5 minutes or until blended, stirring occasionally. Stir in cereal; set aside.
 
Spread cream cheese frosting over brownies. Spread mixture of peanut butter, cereal and chocolate chips.

Chill for 30 minutes or until set before cutting. Store in the refrigerator.

Let's Play Music Class

August  30, 2011


Jasper has been waiting a whole year to start his first year in the "Let's Play Music" program.

His teacher is Miss Natalie (Natalie Gibson) and his class this semester is the Red Ballons.  He has class Tuesday afternoons from 4:00-4:45 PM.  There are 15 classes per semester, and the parent(s) attend every other lesson.  I think it's a great program and I can't wait for my turn to go again.

The CD that goes along with the program has really fun songs on it that Jasper is always begging to listen to...and we already listen to it all of the time.  He wants to practice his tone bells and do his homework assignments.  This is a very positive experience for us and music lessons.

We found out about the "Let's Play Music" program last fall from our friend Will Schroeder, and In the spring I took Jasper to Will's annual concert and review and he loved it. 

Last Fall when Jasper saw Will's tone bells he couldn't wait to play them.  We bought our own set and we love to play them.  We actually ave two sets, so that Mike or I can play with Jasper. Sometimes we use them for accompaniment during Family Home Evening for our opening or closing song -- or both. 

We have a basket in the family room filled with musical instruments where the bells live.  A couple weeks ago Jasper had some friends over and I inquired as to how they were doing.  Jasper said, "Great. We're playing instruments."  The way he said it was cute.  Instead of saying, "We're playing Batman."  Or "We're playing Lego's."  It was simply, "We're playing instruments."

We are looking forward to a great year of music!  If you live in Henderson and are interested in the program, click here for Natalie's contact information.

The Big Water Slide at Black Mountain Rec. Center

I am really proud of Jasper today.  He's worked hard on his swimming skills and was able to go down the big hydrotube water slide today.

We finally went to the Black Mountain Recreation Center.  Even thought it's only 3 miles down the road from our house on Greenway, we'd never been before.  It was an overcast day with raindrops falling here and there.  I was really leery of going at all, but I am sure glad we did. 

This morning I was lamenting the fact that the one day we FINALLY go to the BMAC pool it is cloudy, rainy and a bit cold.  Perfect weather for a bike ride, but not the pool.  I guess that's what I get for putting off going until the last day it's open for the summer.

Because of the weather, it was not very busy at all.  We got there at 11:15 AM.  I went with my friends Cydnee and Nancy and their kids.  After Jasper conquered the big water slide I called Mike and told him to throw on some swim trunks and meet us at the pool.  We left a little after 2:00 PM when it got chilly and looked like the rain was really going to come down.  

 Jasper took swimming lessons in June.  He did well in lessons and has really improved over the summer.  Every time we go swimming he says, "Mom.  I'm going to swim to you.  I need to practice for my swim test."

One time I told him that he had to take a swim test to go down the big water slides at the rec centers and YMCA's.  He took it as a challenge and has been practicing ever since. 

When we went to Hermosa Beach in August he told the lifeguard he was ready to take his swim test because he thought if he passed a swim test he could go on a surfboard.

It turns out that the swim tests are at YMCA pools, and the rec centers make you meet the height requirement (which Jasper was a little short for) and you have to be able to swim to the side after the water slide dumps you out at the bottom.

 At first we all played in the kiddie zone and Jasper loved the small water slide.  Since today was the last day the pool was open for the summer, and all Jasper ever talks about is his swim test and going down the big waterslide, I gave him a little push.  Literally.  

I climbed the stairs with him the first time and when he was hesitant to let go of the grip bar and slide I gave him a nice firm push, and down he went.


Jasper told the lifegaurd at the bottom of the water slide, "I want to go again."  After the first time he went down, and every other time too.  They just smiled at his enthusiasm.  I would guess he went down 30+ times.

 Most of the lifegaurds were super nice to Jasper and gave him a little push out of the strong current at the bottom.  The last lifeguard he had for the day told me that he had to swim all by himself to the side with no help.  And so he did!  I think that lifeguard was surprised that he could really do it.

The second time he went down I went up with him again.  He went down, and 2 seconds later a man cut in front of me and jumped down the water slide.  He was playing some type of game with a friend who was in the pool.  He ran smack into Jasper and kicked him in the head.  Luckily Jasper was okay, but it could have ended a lot worse. 


Jasper made a quick recovery.  I watched him tell his story about how someone ran into his head to everyone in line for the next 5 times he went down.



I was watching from the pool below, because he decided he wanted to climb the stairs and go down the water slide all by himself.  He told me, "Mom, I got this.  You stay here."




I watched his tiny legs go up and down the stairs no less than 30 times.  And every time I just kept thinking...he is going to take a great nap today!


Even though I was sentenced to stay behind, when Mike came he was "allowed" to go down the water slide too, and I even went down a few more times with my boys.

Jasper told Mike, "Dad, if you lay down you go a lot faster."  Once he got all twisted up and came out spinning.  He kind of scared me, Nancy and the lifegaurd.  Jasper was a little shaken up too.  The lifeguard told him it was against the rules and he shouldn't do it again.  Jasper told him, "I don't want to do that again."  Another lifeguard then told me that sometimes the really small kids get spun around because they are so small.


It cost $3 for adults and $2 for kids.  Best $8 we have spent on a family activity in a while.  If you see Jasper, he will be thrilled to tell you about the water slide.  He has asked me no less than 10 times this afternoon, "Mom, when is it going to be open again?"  We may have to start a countdown calendar.

Drop and Roll -- Gymcats Gymnastics

Sept. 03, 2011

Last week we went to a free class at Gymcats with my friend and Rachelle and her kids.  Jasper and Savanna LOVED the Supercubs gymnastics class.  

Favorite things included: Somersaults, cartwheels, back bends, rolling, tumbling, trampolines, parallel bars, jumping, running and stretching.  Balancing bean bags on your head. Not to mention working on coordination and concentration. 

Jasper is very athletic and loves anything physically challenging.  He even loved the warm-up where they pretended to be airplanes and ran around in circles.

If you are new you wear a blue circle sticker with your name on it.  Jasper would NOT take his sticker off.  He even slept in that shirt with the sticker on it.  He told me, "If I keep my sticker on they will let me come back again."  He kept asking me, "Mom, when are we going to the funnest gym in America again."

Gymcats classes are not in our budget right now, but they sure are a lot of fun. And they have open gym from 12:00 - 1:00 PM which we are planning to go to some Fridays.  It's $6 for non-members.

 

 

BYU Football Baby

Four years ago Jasper was born on opening day for BYU football.  BYU beat Arizona that day, 20-7. That was something to smile about. (Yes, Mike was listening to the game at the hospital, even though I was in labor.)

My last assignment for work was at BYU, so I received a lot of BYU themed baby gifts for Jasper.  He was fully decked out in BYU garb in the hospital.

And just like 4 years ago, BYU won their opening game today.  GO COUGARS!

You've Got a Birthday -- Shout Hooray!

(Photo of Jasper & I nine hours after he was born, snuggled up in a blanket my friend Jeni Starley and I made.)

I'm a member of the mother's club who wonder how the days fly by so quickly and kids grow up in the blink of an eye.

Four years.  Today Jasper is four years old.

I love this photo of him when he was brand new.  I remember being so excited to hold him.  And so grateful my pregnancy was finally over.  I worked full time (plus) as an IT Business Analyst and traveled throughout my pregnancy.  Jasper has stayed over 75 nights in Marriott hotels and flown over 25,000 miles before he was born.

I loved my job.  I left because I can always go back to work, but I can never get my fun-filled days of endless Jasper adventures back. I'm grateful that I was able to leave my job and be a full time wife and mom.

This is the first year that Jasper has been SO EXCITED to have a birthday.  Jasper has been waiting 8 months to go up front and be sung to in Primary. The long awaited day came last Sunday and Jasper couldn't have been happier.

Jasper has been saying, "I'm growing to be 4 on my birthday." Yesterday he asked me, "Mom, am I going to have any more birthdays after this one?"

Yes Jasper, you will have more birthdays.  I just hope they won't come so quickly!

   (Photo of Jasper taken today on his birthday while we were walking around the Las Vegas Temple.)

Happy 4th Birthday Jasper

Our Weehoo Bicycle Trailer is Here!

Jasper's 4th birthday is tomorrow and his big birthday present arrived just in time.

We are so excited to take our Weehoo out for a spin!  Ever since our first test ride we have been ready to roll!

Jasper had a great time helping Mike assemble all of the pieces.

I sold our Chariot Bike Trailer to help pay for it, and my parents and grandpa sent Jasper some birthday money so we could get it.

Jasper calls it "my new red bike."

THANK YOU to Grammy and Papa Havens and Grandpa DeArmitt for the best birthday present!

I Will Be Happy On Earth

(Photo from our fun trip to Hermosa Beach two weeks ago).

While Jasper and I were out running errands this afternoon we were listening to some Primary songs that we're trying to learn for our upcoming Sacrament Meeting presentation on October 23rd.

One of the lines from the song "I Will Follow God's Plan for Me" says: "I will be happy on earth."
After Jasper heard that and said, "Mom, I want to be happy on earth."

It was so sweet and sincere.  I thought, "I want to be happy on earth too!"  It always catches me off guard when I realize that Jasper is really listening to every word of the song lyrics AND thinking about their meaning.

I asked him what he needed to do to be happy on earth and said, "I need to make good choices and not go in time out."  

I'm grateful to be Jasper's mom and to constantly be reminded to be more like a little child.

Here's the link to listen to and/or download the song for free.

And here's the link for all of the songs we are learning for the presentation.

I Will Follow God's Plan for Me
My life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose; in heaven it began.
My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth
And seek for God’s light to direct me from birth.
I will follow God’s plan for me,
Holding fast to his word and his love.
I will work, and I will pray;
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on earth
And in my home above.

Words and music: Vanja Y. Watkins

Girls Night Out Baby Shower for Nancy Ashby

Save the date and come celebrate!
Date: Thursday, Sept. 8th
Time:  6:00 PM
Place:  Angela Davidson's home

We're having a girls night out to celebrate Nancy having her first baby BOY!  

Join us for an evening of Nancy's favorite things.  We'll eat Cafe Rio style salads for dinner.  While we visit and Nancy opens her gifts we will treat ourselves to a foot spa / pedicure. 

Rachelle and I will provide the soaking salts, foot mask and lotion.  Come soak your toes and scrub your heels and get your feet feeling great.

 



We are so excited to give Nancy some baby BOY items!
Nancy needs:
Size 2, 3 & 4 diapers
Bath items (soap, lotion, diaper cream, etc)
Pacifiers
She has her eye on a bedding set that we're getting for those who want to contribute to a group gift.

For your pedicure, please bring:
-- A foot tub (i.e. dishpan).  We have quite a few, so don't go out and buy one.  But if you have one, bring it.
-- A thick towel to put under your foot tub (i.e. pedicure station) and a hand towel to dry your feet with.
-- Nail polish, foot scrubber, favorite pedicure items.

RSVP by Saturday, Sept. 3rd to:
Angela Davidson or Rachelle Abbott
Please let us Rachelle know if you want to bring an item for dinner.
Please let Angela know if you want to contribute to the group gift.


HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

Beach Rock Collage

Jasper and I are headed to the beach in California next week, and I think this would be so fun to make when we get home. I think we will use shells instead of stones.

Ghost Rider

Yesterday Jasper was outside drying off after our water adventures.

I glanced out my kitchen window and saw him pedaling a Hot Wheels bike around with a towel over his head.

He thought he was so funny! I ran out to record the Ghost Rider (video below).